RELATIVITY

Albert Einstein was undoubtedly one of the greatest geniuses of our time. Between his twenty first and thirty eight birthdays he completed a revolution in science, with profound repercussions at many levels. The two great breakthroughs were the special Theory of Relativity and the general theory of relativity (I’m not a physicist therefore all attempts which will require me to ‘break it down’ will fall on ‘stone-deaf’ ears).

Inspired by this man, though I have just begun in the waning years of my twenties, I aspire to replicate his genius in the field of ‘SocioMoraPoliticoEconoReligious’ commentary or amateur journalism (I nominate this word for inclusion in all standard English dictionaries with no intentions if giving Óhemaa Lizzie a fit).

Einstein’s theories were ultimately derived from experiments and were successfully given practical applications which confirmed their correctness time and again. Again, I aspire to do same only this time, not from experiments but stark realities (Much Ado About Black Stars). Let’s get on with it! My mind tells me, so here goes nothing.

Lean Government

Attah the coach-player-captain rolled into a media-op promised a lean government as against a ‘bloated’ one eight years before.

Lean government’s relation to the Black Stars? I’ll tell you

Lean Govt = Lean Black Stars therefore Lean Goals, hence Lean score lines of 1 goal per Game. Pundits predict this trend will continue thus; annexing the trophy after 18 ‘lean’ years of not being in the final and 28 ‘lean’ years of no AfCON title.

Team B

Team B Government, Team B Cabinet Ministers, Team B reshuffle, (or was it team C?? *sniggering*)

Team B Govt. = Team B Black Stars-satellites (call them ‘Starllites’ yah?). Team B performance with results (This by no means is really proven with regards to the former .... yeah I said it!!! Bite me. Mind, I bear allegiance to no flag. Ny3 ny3 ny333 ny33 ny3!

Profligate Spending

· Team B transition ‘Connumtea’ – GHc 1.4 Million,

· ‘MM Pampas’, ‘Munchingas’, ’Baby Oils’ and ‘misrepresentation’ – a generous dent to the exchequer’s coffers

· Refurbishment of a Ministerial Bungalow – GHc 85,000.00

· School Uniforms for the Underprivileged – GHc 1.4 Billion

· Haiti Disaster Fund – US $ 3 million (this really makes me sick! I have my reasons)

· Satellites Winning Bonus – Saloon Cars + GHc 170,000.00 (in 15 year bonds of course)

· Black Stars Winning Bonus -- US $ 35,000.00 per player (coaches and officials unknown, I know i’ll take a lot of flak for this but i’m well braced and I just don’t give a rat’s fart!)

This is only the beginning; call it a test of the waters but much like or otherwise unlike Einstein i don’t need experience.